It is Well With My Soul

While we had some nice highlights, this actually proved to be a painful September for us. Our church family has been going through many challenges and has lost numerous staff from resignations and layoffs. We’re discouraged and like many, are unsure of our church’s future but we will stay and continue invest in this church home for the time being, until we’re called to plant our family into another church in this area.

In August, we discovered that I was pregnant. While it was surprising and daunting to think about having three children under the age of three next Spring, we were very excited that our family was growing again and to meet the new baby. After a few ultrasounds though, we learned that this baby died during the second month of my pregnancy. We’re devastated we didn’t get to ever see a heartbeat and that we won’t get to meet him or her next year as a family. It’d be understatement to say life’s felt so hard since receiving that news. I’m snuggling Timothy and Grace extra amounts these days. However my heart continues to ache heavily for the loss of our third baby, their little sibling.

Mama ringing in the last year of her 20sBSF has been a great source of encouragement for me as I’ve been studying the life of Moses along with the history of the Israelites. I’m so thankful for God’s providence and timing in reminding me gently and firmly that he is sovereign and cares deeply for his people. As we grieve and process, I look forward to the day when the Lord wipes away our tears and death will be no more. Some of the songs that I’ve sung often lately include “It Is Well With My Soul”, along with other classic hymns. Timothy has quickly picked up, and “It is Weow” is a new favorite with him. I love hearing him belt out hymns while strumming hard on his ukulele or pressing into the toy electric guitars. His singing and playing fill the house and reminds me that music is an incredible gift from the Lord. I’m also thankful for the blessing of community who have been walking with me through this loss and point me towards our surest hope in Jesus the midst of despair, confusion, pain and a veritable rollercoaster of emotions.

Family visitors in September meant our family enjoyed plenty of extra help for me and attention for the children. It was so fun to watch Timothy interact so fully with extended family members and speak so much Cantonese to others. He loved having Aunty Alison, Uncle Kevin, Grampa & Grandma Ma, and Aunty Sophia stay here with us. Grace was giddy with all the extra attention and snuggles from everyone, too. Timothy’s been expressing that he misses people and it’s endearing for him to let us know when he misses relatives after their visits.

Our happy 7-month old

Sweet little baby Grace continues to be a joyous sign of Jesus’ exceeding graciousness towards me. Her happy and mellow disposition helps me enjoy recent difficult days with renewed perspective and gratitude. I’m blown away everyday by how much her presence and life is an immense blessing to our family, and I marvel at how wonderfully Grace has been created. She continues to crack up at big brother’s antics, “jokes”, and now loves to ride on him in addition to chasing him with our help. Grace has also progressed quickly from strongly sitting up to starting to crawl quickly in September. She seems to enjoy solid foods pretty well so far even she isn’t as voracious of an eater as her brother was at this age.

We took Timothy to the Museum of Flight and it was a blast to see him explore the many interesting
exhibits and have fun with the hands-on displays. Andrew and I actually hadn’t been there since we had our wedding reception there over 5 years ago, so it was neat to reminisce a bit and share with our son about our wedding day. Timothy liked pointing out how happy everyone was in our wedding album, and that the wedding cake was missing candles! I’m pretty sure he was pleased to learn that big festive cakes are for more than celebrating birthdays.

Block party water balloon toss
Pre-dinner park fun
Grace is happy at parks, too
Will he like wasabi?
Goofiness
His first quick violin lesson, courtesy of Aunty Alison
Picnic dinner at Snoqualmie Falls
Our happy climbing guy
With the Ma Grandparents
The extended Ma clan
See the sibling resemblance?
Back to Snoqualmie Falls for a hike
Taking in the last hot day of the year
Photo break at this neat structure
Enjoying the closer view
Back at Remlinger Farm riding Raisin
Happy in the hay
Farm life
Fun times with Papa on the steam engine train
Checking out the Concorde
Bummed the cockpit was blocked
The hands-on exhibits were most fun for Timothy
Enjoying the pilot’s seat
Trying to fly
Grampa Ma had fun, too
Timothy loved flying around
Loving on their granddaughter

Is Autumn almost here?

Grace loves swings, too!August was a fun-filled month of play dates, park picnics and family time for us. Grace has recovered well from her surgery and has become so much more active this month! It’s already been over half a year since we met our sweet little girl, which is hard to believe. Time definitely has flown faster with our second child since we don’t have as much time to slowly savor the early stages of development.

Even with the challenges of this age, two is such fun stage for us with Timothy. He’s learning a lot every week and it’s a joy to witness. He sings along to many songs and memorizes lines from books. He initiates pretend play and continues to imitate us and what he sees in books. Timothy makes so many loud observations these days that it really keeps me on my toes explaining things to him in Cantonese. He’s also taken to letting me know whenever people aren’t covered up with clothing, which makes for very chatty visits to the beach and park this hot summer! One of the newer sweet things Timothy does is call “Mama?” randomly throughout the day wherever we are, so I can answer with his name. We do this back and forth several times at varying volumes since he seems to just enjoy the call and answer with his mama. It’s silly, but endearing moments like those make me so glad to be at home. Timothy got to see his Grandma Tam this month and Grace got to meet her for the during her visit here. It was fun to hear Timothy use his Cantonese with another adult in-person.

Little construction worker

Timothy is still fascinated with vehicles of all sorts and had a blast at both Kirkland’s Summerfest and Redmond’s Big Truck Day this month, getting to ride on lots of big rigs. Thursday mornings are still an event around here since our kind WM recycling truck driver stops to greet Timothy. Sundays are also a highlight as we worship with our church family and Timothy gets to watch the band play, sometimes bringing along some instruments from home, too. It’s fun how he re-enacts the drumming, guitar-playing and standing by a “wonderful cross” at home “like at church”. Some of his other oft-used English phrases these days are, “Timothy so funny!”, “Timothy too fast!”, “Timothy disobey…” “Nooo”, and “Jesus died on the wonderful cross to save us from sins”. It’s crazy what he winds up memorizing. While I find the “nooo” annoying, we’re trying to redirect it to be “no, thank you” and be glad that he didn’t figure out the English “no” till very recent months. Timothy often announces to Grace what “big brother” is doing and it’s endearing to watch him snuggle, talk with, and sing to Grace the way he sees Andrew and me treat her. At the doctor’s office the other day, he told Grace reassuringly that she didn’t need to be afraid when he saw her begin to look sad for her physical exam. Usually he says that to himself (like a self-pep talk) because that’s what I tell him about the car wash, our blender, and thunder. I almost burst into tears at his sweet encouragement to his sister!

More fun at Grass Lawn

Grace is growing quickly this month and is definitely on the move. She’s fast with rolling and pivoting to get to things she wants to examine and mouth so we need to keep a close eye on her. She is still very mellow and easily pleased though, and we’re quite thankful for that so far. Grace’s SUPER happy to see her Papa come home each day and it just melts my heart to see her gazing affectionately at him often, as if she doesn’t want him to leave again. She uses her cute little hands to explore all of our faces, and it’s one of the most precious things to watch her pet Timothy’s smiling face. One of their favorite activities together is Grace “chasing” Timothy up the stairs with our help. We can’t get enough of both their beaming smiles during the chasing game. Grace continues to be smothered with hugs and kisses from her big brother everyday. I continue to enjoy her big smiles, funny giggles, and rapt attention towards Timothy in all his busyness. The way she lights up when he dances and entertains her is too adorable to watch. I love that they’re already starting to play together a bit. No one else can make Grace laugh harder than Timothy right now, and he is happy to oblige.

This month, we wrapped up a 12-week summer book and Bible study with other mothers of young children. I was humbled and convicted to be more diligent during these formative early parenting years, as well as very prayerful in how I shepherd our children. The book work/Bible reading, weekly fellowship for us mamas to discuss, and prayer times were salve for my soul in this season. One week, we had 5 slumbering babies upstairs with a bunch of busy little ones keeping the babysitter busy downstairs in the family room, and I thought to myself, “How incredible is this season of craziness with wee little ones?!?”. I continue to be thankful for our home and the opportunities we have to be hospitable. We plan to keep opening our home to a women’s study, but I’ll take a break from leading this fall and look forward to being led by an older woman from our church. I’m also excited for next month when we begin our weekly activities of going to Classical Conversations and Bible Study Fellowship. As Timothy approaches school age, I hope these activities are a good primer for when we start some more structured homeschooling preschool times at home this school year. For now, we’re definitely focusing on obedience and basic communication!

Helping Papa dig
“Tow twuck!”
A Canadian Papa so excited for the Zamboni
Enjoying the Kenworth
Hello tired dog
Our littlest reader
Timothy and Mama needed haircuts
Baby gal pals…
…and big siblings eating dinner
Busy bunch of toddlers
Take your child to work day @ Groupon
Timothy took foosball seriously
Seaweed goodness before playing at Grass Lawn
Grace enjoys parks, too
Our sweet girl is half a year old
Time has flown with this one
We love these two so much
Banging at Redmond Town Center
Slide time
Kitchen assistant
1st stop @ Big Truck Day – food!
Of course it rained, too
Let’s get going!
“Fire twuck”!
Last stop of the day
This girl keeps herself busy
Playing along…
…and he’s plopped on stage
Despite his sullen look, he’s quite happy
We pray he truly worships Jesus one day

 

July highlights

Very sunny morning concert
Very sunny morning concert
"A bird feather, Mama"
“Mama, a bird feather!”

The Seattle area has had several weeks in which we struggle some to beat the heat, but it’s been fun to enjoy more water activites and the outdoors when it’s not too hot outside in the mornings. (Yes, I’m a Pacific Northwest wimp now when it comes to the “hot” weather). Maybe I should take some cues from Timothy who doesn’t ever complain about sweating. 😉 We’ve enjoyed a few of the morning summer concerts in Kirkland nearby and are thankful for the many beautiful parks and playgrounds accessible to us. Timothy is an avid explorer of the outdoors and Grace is a calm and patient observer so it works out well for all. It will be so fun to see the two of them running around next summer and discovering new things together.

Our little girl continues to be a sweet, mellow, happy and giggly. She is rolling a lot and enjoying baby toys and books. Grace also loves seeing and talking to her big brother. I’m delighted to see her bring many smiles to Timothy’s face. It’s one of the cutest things to see her use her little hands to explore her brother’s face when he lays next to her for hugs and playtime. Timothy is still mostly very gentle and affectionate with Grace and is a good sport about all the drool, while she is a great sport about all the toddler squeezes and smooches.

Waiting patiently for surgery
Waiting patiently for surgery

Grace’s surgery was Thursday morning, and it was a point of both built-up anxiety and relief as we ended the month. The procedure went very smoothly and Grace appears to be recovering well so far. We’re grateful for the skilled and kind medical staff at Seattle Children’s Bellevue Clinic and Surgery Center close by. They took good care of our baby girl and we were able to return home with her within hours of arriving at Children’s in the morning. My heart was twisted when I watched Grace with the slightly oversized mask squish her face as she fussed a bit before getting drowsy, and had leave her little helpless unconscious body on the big operating with only a tiny hospital gown on her. The Lord was faithful to bring encouragement and peace through His Word and our community, though. It was a short operation and the experienced doctor and nurses were also reassuring and helpful. Timothy immediately give his sister a snug hug upon seeing her emerge from the recovery area with me later and was happy to see Grace doing well. Thank you to those of you who encouraged and prayed for us through this experience!

I love that he instinctively reaches to hold her hand
I love that he instinctively reaches to hold her hand

We continue to enjoy Timothy’s chattiness and activity around here. I’m pretty blown away to hear him use so much new language quickly lately. He likes to practice sentences in both Chinese and English; it’s encouraging to see him understand both so well. We’re also amused to hear him practice his language and talk himself to sleep at night sometimes. Some of the other cute things he does right now involve his ukulele. He holds it upright to play like a cello with a wooden spoon as his bow and he loves to rock out on it as a little guitar like us. Timothy also wanted us to make a big cardboard cross (he calls it “wonderful cross”) so he could stand next to it and play instruments “like church”. He’s an intense drummer these days. On the domestic front, he’s busy letting us know he’s doing things just like Papa or Mama in the little play kitchen. Whether it’s making crepes (complete with generous pours from the maple syrup jug) or cutting up fruits and veggies on his little cutting board, it melts me sometimes to watch him working away like a little man! The children and I also visited Remlinger Farms in July with classmates from toddler group. Timothy enjoyed the little kid rides and rode a horse for the first time. While he was on horseback, we also watched the much larger horse in front of us drop a huge steaming pile, making that the most memorable part of riding horseback for him, of course. He also distinctly remembers the spot on our car where a bird left a present earlier this week when we returned to our car after a summer concert. And so the potty talk fixation begins… 😉

Riding on little Raisin
About to go for a ride on little Raisin

Papa Andrew is smitten with his lovely daughter so our photo gallery is quite large this month. =)

Photobombed by Grace on a play date
Her double swirls make for crazy hair
Timothy jumps in on photo opps
He only plays Vivaldi’s Four Seasons (just Spring)
Big pile-up on the slide
Such sweetness
American girls celebrating Independence Day
Playtime in pool
Timothy loves water so much
We discovered he’s adept at pouring tea
Hair-raising tummy time
Sibling glamour shot?
Birthday party on the beach
Discovering the fountains at UVillage
“Hold on, Mama”
Some overdue cousin time with Conor…
And sweet Baby Callum
Mall-walking isn’t very exciting
“Here Grace, play with the beavers”
Rice sensory table
She’s gripping toys well now
Sitting with cute handmade dolls by Aunty Sophia
Cooking crepes like Papa
Our happy 5-month old girl
Precious
Timothy swooped in for a snuggle
A peck for Papa’s Play-Doh doggy
And a smooch for sister
Timothy exclaims, “cake!”
Aww, we love you, too!
Papa putting more words in her mouth.
We’re not sure why she slurps the bubbles
Why so serious, Grace?
She’s happier with a hug from brother
Practicing sitting up
Dinner play date
Goat-sighting!
Very busy play date
Twinsies at our Wednesday AM study
Most definitely Papa’s girl
Hi smiley girl!
Post-nap snuggles
Grace and happy Papa
He won’t soon forget this adventure
‘Twas an epic Thursday for Timothy
Mama loves it when they match 😉
Enjoying hydrangeas on a family walk
Neighborhood 2-yr old “band” (they beat sticks on the mailboxes)
Dimply smile!

A June of celebrations

Lots of water fun this month!
Lots of water fun this month!

Timothy turned 2 this month and it was such a joy to seem him understand and be excited about celebrating this year. I love hearing him sing “Happy Birthday”. He anticipates getting to eat cake at any celebration now. =) He had a lot of fun with his little friends over for cake and some fun. It was a nice week of celebrating for him with cupcakes three times – on his actual birthday, for celebrating with his toddler group classmates a few days after, and at his birthday party with friends that weekend. I hope he doesn’t expect so much cake every year, although it was actually fun to do some cake-baking this time for me. It’s funny how having children helps me enjoy things I used to avoid, like baking. 😉 The little guy continues to learn new vocabulary at a quick clip and build more complex sentences. He can now even distinguish between his left and right in both languages! I’m suprised since I get mixed up on that pretty often. He’s so eager to explore outside, throw balls (or really anything), ride his bike, and pull wagons in the nice weather.

We enjoyed a quiet Father’s Day together. It’s been an amazing blessing to watch Andrew’s involvement and intentionality with his son and daughter. Grace’s sweet gushing smiles with her Papa make me cry; they’re just too precious. It’s beautiful to see her affection for Andrew already and I love when she holds on to him tightly with her dimply little hands. I pray that she gets a deep sense of a father’s protective and empowering love as she grows up in our family. Timothy asks often about when Papa is coming home to play with him, and talks so much about their activities together nowadays. He pretends to drive to work with a backpack, just like Andrew. He loves telling me what things he’s doing just like Papa or with Papa. He’s still very much a mama’s boy for now; it’ll be (bitter)sweet to watch him grow into an all-about-Papa stage later.

Andrew and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and enjoyed a nice night out with some delicious sushi. It’s odd how it doesn’t seem like we’ve been married for half a decade(!), but it feels like we’ve had our children for a long time! I’m thankful for the gracious, clever, industrious, gifted, faithful, sacrificial and generous man Andrew is, and look forward to many more years with him as my husband and partner in life. It’s been an incredible journey so far and I look forward to building a legacy together. I pray that I will grow as a wife to be more of what he needs and wants, by God’s grace and strength. Here’s to the next 55 years! =)

Sweet Grace
Sweet Grace

Now 4 months old, baby Grace continues to be an immense blessing to our family. We love snuggling her delicate little face and making her giggle and coo at us. She loves watching Timothy be run around and their little sibling “conversations” are very cute. She is a champ at occupying herself with her cute little hands is getting good at grabbing toys to nosh on lately. Grace also enjoys watching her brother’s charming dance moves and basketball dunks. Her happy smiles and easygoing disposition brightens our days so much. However our hearts have also been heavier since learning that Grace needs surgery soon for a condition she has that won’t heal by itself. =( We’re thankful for the experienced and excellent doctors who will be caring for her, though. It’s so sad to me that our baby girl needs surgery at such a young age, but we’re trusting Jesus will continue to take care of her and help us rely more on Him in this health challenge for our family.

Summer is in full swing here and it’s been so nice! We’re enjoying nearby splash pads on the increasingly warm days and the many farmers markets that take place throughout the week nearby. It’s so fun to point out the amazing creation God has made and see Timothy take it all in with his penchant for learning and ability to express himself. Grace seems to enjoy the outdoors quite a bit too and while she’s a great sleeper at home, she’s also quite a trooper when we take the occasional nap on-the-go. I look forward to outdoor concerts and more summer activities in the coming weeks!

Chowing down on a play date
Timothy’s 1st big Trophy cupcake to celebrate 2!
Fun at Juanita beach
Big cupcake #2…a few bangs may have been singed – oops!
Timothy sharing jellybeans with buddies
The baby sisters getting their party on.
They had more fun partying than their faces indicate here 😉
Pre-Father’s Day photo with the toddlers
Water table fun at home
Endless H2O amusement
Love
her
adorable
little
face!
So glad we have water activites nearby
Big boy on his balance bike
Wheee!
Biking like Papa
4 months old
Dimple sighting
Helping baby sister up the stairs
Playing hard at a birthday party
He worked up an appetite
Is there something on my face?
Grace chilling with other baby girls
Gorgeous anniversary bouquet of peonies
Grace loves her Papa
Squishy sibling love
Getting a little mobile
Two teething kids?
Fascinated by the glass art at the farmers market
Can’t get enough of her many expressions
A new favorite food – crepes by Andrew!
Bubbles for baby girl
Some of our lilies in full bloom

Timothy’s 2nd Birthday Letter

Well, this post is a day late, but I’m glad you enjoyed your birthday yesterday. You got to eat Trophy cupcakes, get balloons, and have the birthday song sung to you numerous times at your request. It’s fun to see you understand a bit more about birthdays now. =)

You couldn't wait to dig in!
You couldn’t wait to dig in!

Happy 2nd birthday to you, Timothy! What a year it’s been for you and our family! You’ve become such a big boy and bring so many smiles to people everywhere we go together. Papa and Mama are so encouraged by how much you’ve grown and we’re excited to continue to discover more about how God made you.

Some of this year’s development in review: you starting walking consistenly at about 15 1/2 months, recounting memories to us at 17 months, playing imaginatively at 19 months, and speaking consistently with short sentences at about 22 months. In between was so much vocabulary development and signs to us that you’re just growing up and becoming more independent. You’ve definitely entered an age of deep persistence and it’s forcing Mama to grow in patience, that’s for sure!

You met your baby sister Grace at 20 months and have taken well to being her big brother. Your smiles and giggles with her are such a joy to witness and we love how you are always looking for opportunities to hold hands with and hug her. You often give her toys, stuffed animals, books and instruments to play with even though she can’t quite fully engage in those activities yet. It’s special to see your affection and care grow for Grace everyday as she becomes more aware of our home and family. You two are becoming cute playmates for each other.

You speak mostly Cantonese right now and appear to show a fairly good understanding of differences between English and Chinese and even switch languages in the appropriate contexts. I love hearing you string together sentences with all the words you’ve learned. Although that’s bound to change as you get older and master English, it’s so cool right now to watch you think and process the world in Cantonese. I’m already nearing my limit with how much more I can teach you, but I hope you’re able to retain a lot of it in the years to come. You already use a lot of English for words like dump truck, digger, bulldozer, backhoe loader, hummingbird, ladybug and numerous other vocabulary that Mama just doesn’t have in Chinese. 😉 Loud noises and some strangers scare you, but you’ve been brave and don’t usually cry when you’re scared. You’ve also been letting us know when you’re happy or sad, like something, and love pointing out that Grace is happy when she’s smiling.

In addition to your interest in all vehicles , you love basketball so much right now. You often excitedly point out squirrels, bunnies, birds, dogs, planes, helicopters, WM trucks, construction vehicles and other automobiles on the road. I treasure so many of the sweet things you do like dance and clap in the morning when you see me, blow kisses at the end of video calls with family, sing silly tunes, give me lots of big hugs and kisses, snuggle with Grace, and pet my hair. I’m sorry I don’t sit and play with you nearly as often as you ask me, but no chores or meals would get done if I did! It’s nice to see you discovering the world and play independently so well. I love hearing your little voice ask me to sit on the carpet and read with you, play instruments, sing to you, and play toys with you. We like to see you jam with the guitars and enjoy music so much right now. I love that you ask for specific songs and encourage us to play music more and sing as a family. Some of your current favorite songs are the “ABC song”, “Isn’t He Wonderful” (in English and Cantonese), I’m a Little Teapot (in Cantonese), “The Wonderful Cross”, and a song I made up to go with a bedtime book. It’s exciting that you’re starting to sing along more and do motions, too! You’re at such an adorable age (though Papa and I have said that almost all your life now!) and we enjoy you so much.

You quietly observe when outside our home, and it appears as shyness sometimes, but I’m not quite sure if you’re truly shy yet. It’s taken you most of the year to warm up and be more outgoing at Toddler Group, but you really enjoy it now. You’re no longer as bold with dogs, but you still love to see and pet them when they’re calm. Animals are kind of a mixed bag; you enjoy seeing them and being near them, but want to move on pretty quickly and don’t like when they make loud noises. You’ve also been pointing out animals and objects on your and Grace’s clothes, even telling us often which clothes you want to wear because of your affinity for fire trucks, construction vehicles, all kinds of bears. After being introduced to some new sweets this year, your favorite foods now include cookies, cake, baklava, muffins, pies and brownies. You still love fruits of all kinds and I’m especially looking forward to this year’s farmers market bounty with you!

Your relationship with Papa has evolved and I’ve enjoyed seeing you understand more about how he loves and cares for you. It’s so cute how you’ve been so eager for him to come home nowadays. It’s been touching to watch you grow in your affection for your father recently. It’ll be neat to see you two have more adventures together this year. I love that you have grown to look even more like your Papa, and I look forward to more matching outfits in the years to come. 😉

What - I don't get to eat the whole cake?!
What – I don’t get to eat the whole cake?!

I’m encouraged by your soft heart to receive instruction as we work through discipline so far. Papa and I are learning as we try to guide your heart towards obedience and understanding of our authority over and love for you. You help me see how much I need Jesus’ perfection and forgiveness as well when I see how sensitive and observant you are. I’m so thankful I get to read and teach the Bible to you because I’m learning more about the gospel and God’s great love for us as I grow in motherhood. It’s neat to hear you start to communicate your feelings and concerns to me, and I look forward to learning more about what goes on in your head this year. It’s sweet that when we pray, you like to mention so much of what and whom you’re thankful for recently. We pray that you continue to love books and grow to love reading, especially the Bible, and that you would grow in wisdom even at this young age.

We’re excited to see what this year holds for you, and are so blessed God gave you to us to care for as our firstborn son. Thank you for being such a wonderful part of our family, Timothy. We love you so much, little guy!