Happy 1st Birthday, Grace!

SweetGracesmilingDearest little Grace Elizabeth,

Our family’s been so blessed by you this year. Papa and I have immensely enjoyed you as our daughter and Timothy’s sister. We’re thankful to God for making you just the way He did and giving you to us exactly when He did, too. I can’t believe it’s already been a year with you, but in some ways it feels even longer since we can’t imagine our family without you! Some stats from your first year: you rolled over at about 4 months, sat up sometime during 6 months, scooted at 7 months, crawled quickly at 8, cruised at 9 months, had your first two teeth emerge at 10 months and climbed up the stairs at 10 months, too. You also took your first plane ride like a champ at 11 months. We are waiting for you stand independently before you take steps in the coming weeks (maybe months?). We love your delicate little hands, wispy long hair, lashes that curl on the outer edges of your eyes, frequent big smiles, and contagious giggles.

Some of your favorite foods this first year include nori (seaweed snacks), blueberries, oatmeal, pumpkin, millet, sweet potatoes, bananas, kiwis, black beans, bread and pears. You enjoy playing by yourself quite a bit, but you also love it when other people, especially Timothy, are around even when it means you’re sometimes getting shoved or squished a bit. Your favorite toys are the baby piano, stacking cups, Timothy’s George monkey, play kitchen, your soft books, and whatever “Gaw Gaw” is trying to build with his Legos. You also enjoy any household objects we let you play with, too. I’m pretty sure your first words were “Baba”, “Dada”, “Papa”…basically all the ways you can refer to your father, which was pretty special for Papa. 🙂 “Bye-bye”, “Yeh Yeh”, and what sounds like “more” in Cantonese followed soon after. You also say “Mama” now, and it’s so heartmelting, maybe more so since it’s not often you say it. You also seem to want to skip sign language and go straight to talking when you’ve been asking for more food lately in Cantonese instead of signing. In addition your cute little gazes and smiles, you have a funny little hello wave where you stick your hand out as if reaching for people.

You absolutely adore Papa and he is quite smitten with you as well. It’ll be so sweet to see your relationship grow in the months and years to come. We love how excited you are to see him everyday. You also love “Gaw Gaw” and we’re so happy to see you and Timothy enjoy each other so much this first year together. It’s so special how the two of you can quickly help each other feel better when one of you is sad, simply by being present. You are super happy when you see photos of our whole little family together, and you enjoy reading and singing through books with us. When we dance, sing and jump around all crazy, it makes you smile and laugh. You squeal for bubbles, enjoy playing with water, and love slides and swings. It was so cool to see you catch on quickly to slides and notice you lean forward to initiate the thrill. It’s been a gift to watch you thrive in your BSF class each week.  I love that you enjoy Cantonese Story Time, especially when loudly clapping for the songs we sing. You’ve been humming and singing along with us for your sleeptime song of “Be Thou My Vision”, and it’s very loud at times. I can’t wait to have you make more music with us in the coming years.

Our first year together after your birth was so full and difficult in many ways. You made your appearance 8 days early, smoothly, calmly and quickly – we thank the Lord for that, too! Like your brother, you also have symmetrical double hair swirls, which we find fascinating and adorable at the same time. You were born a bit on the small side but gained weight well in the early months. When I was pregnant again, we didn’t know for a little while, but you weren’t getting enough milk so you lost weight between 3 and 6 months. It disheartened me that you needed a lot of formula to get back on track, but I’m thankful for how God provided for your growth in that way even though it was not what I’d planned or wanted for you. We lost your little sibling unfortunately, so that was painful for me to grapple with as I also struggled with your growth curve this year, too. Many people tell me you’re tiny, and it makes me want to burst into tears sometimes…there are those times when I really do sob while holding on to you tightly. Baby girl, you’ve been so tough and cooperative and are back on track with gaining weight and eating most everything we feed you so well. Praise the Lord for that! You’ve also been a decently good sleeper and napper, and we are SO THANKFUL for that gift. While, it’s been such a relief to have an easier sleeper, and you probably also benefit from having us not be as nervous as we were with Timothy. 😉

The Lord has used you to bless our family in ways better than we hoped or imagined in this first year. I never would’ve imagined how much your story so far has helped me to see the world more soberly and compassionately, while also longing more for Jesus. Your sweet and flexible disposition has been so helpful in this otherwise difficult year and we’re grateful for God’s graciousness in making the transition being a family of 4 smoother than we’d expected. I have also felt more helpless and inadequate as a mother than I’d ever felt before with only your big brother in my care. I think this is also God’s grace to me through you to show me that I deseperately need Him to fill and work through me because I cannot do anything truly fruitful on my own.

I pray that as you grow physically, your spirit would be increasingly awakened to thirst for the truth of the Bible instead of the many lies culture will feed you about God, the world, and yourself. I pray that you will find your deepest sense of belonging and worth in your Heavenly Father’s affection and sacrifice for you through Jesus Christ. I hope you will be strong in your convictions and in guarding your heart, as well as compassionate and caring toward others. We look forward to getting to know you more this second year and the years to come.

Happy first birthday to you, our precious and sweet baby girl!

With a full and grateful heart,

~Mama

December Festivities

As we celebrated Christmas, we started a new tradition of choosing a gift to give to Jesus and let Timothy pick out the first present. True to his own interests, he chose a gift of fruit tree seedlings. When the children show more understanding, we hope that the Lord will move beyond our own feeble efforts to convey the weight and wonder of Jesus incarnate to our children. I’m humbled at how wondrous and incredible the story of Jesus coming to rescue us is as we reviewed the story and Scripture with new eyes. When I became exasperated and wondered what else can go awry the world with so many awful new stories still streaming in during the last weeks of 2014, I was reminded of exactly why Jesus had to come to earth in the first place; to live perfectly and die in our place because we could not and cannot save ourselves. Behind the façade of happy pictures, the same brokenness and sin lives our home, too. This Christmas celebration helped me to experience more freedom in not trying to have it all together, and in letting Christ’s perfect work be the one to shine in my sin and shortcomings.

Grace did really well on a weekend road trip down to Portland, and continues to be a flexible and easygoing baby. She stands often and even climbs stairs with supervision. Grace wiggled to Christmas music – bobbing up and down, and shaking her arms and head excitedly to music; moves she likely picked up from her brother. One of my favorite moments this past month was catching both kids wave their arms at the same time to “Little Drummer Boy” while riding in the car one day. Grace is quite chatty nowadays and trying to form lots of words, oftentimes already “repeating” what we say. She even says “bye-bye” sometimes! She also raises her little hands to wave and reach towards people, showing us how interested and social she is lately. Her latest favorite food is nori (seaweed) snacks and she enthusiastically feeds it to herself. Her appetite for solids continues to increase and her curiosity for our table foods has as well. Grace loves her bedtime book so much that sometimes we wonder if it might make her too excited before sleeping. She’s been humming when I sing to her at night, and it’s super sweet to hear her little voice keep up with mine. Because she’s ours, we find her gentle disposition and happiness overwhelming on top of her cuteness sometimes. We continue to be deeply grateful for the gift she’s been to our family.

Timothy got to meet some friendly chickens on our trip to Portland and continues to fill our house with songs daily. He asked to listen to “O Come All Ye Faithful” repeatedly, along with “Angels We Have Heard on High”, “Joy to the World”, and “Go, Tell it on a Mountain“. It was great hearing him sing carols this year and be eager about our Advent reading activities each day. Timothy had many tastes of treats from a cookie exchange and various festivities this month, and especially enjoyed the frosting off the birthday cake we had to celebrate Jesus’ birth on Christmas morning. He was quite the gift-opener as he tore through his own presents, and insisted on helping the rest of us with our gifts.

One afternoon, I overheard Timothy reading to himself the last pages of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom in Chinglish,  saying “Big A, little A, Big B, Little B” in Chinese. It still surprises me how many quirky things he picks up from me. We also made very incremental progress in some Spanish vocabulary this month with a new book so hopefully the novelty won’t wear off too quickly. The Rs he can’t roll right now are pretty hilarious, though. 😉

We hope your 2015 is off to a good start – Happy New Year!

P.S. If you missed our Christmas video, you can check it out on YouTube.

Merry Christmas 2014

Christmas 2014 Front

We hope this greeting finds you safe and well. 2014 proved to be an emotional rollercoaster for our family. In addition to celebrating life and milestones with the birth of Grace, our fifth wedding anniversary, and various firsts as a family of four, we also endured loss. Our hearts have been stricken with much heaviness with news stories, distress in our church family, and losing a child. As it does for us, we hope this Christmas season also causes you to reflect, wonder, and anticipate the Good News.

Andrew – This year, I made another career change and left Amazon in May. I joined Groupon to build and manage an engineering team to work on a new mobile app for travel. While we seek the Lord in our church home situation, I continue to serve with technology needs and children’s ministry. We lost Stewie rabbit this year, but 11 years was a good run for that soft brown bunny. As I grow in fatherhood, I enjoy my adventures with our growing little guy and adore my precious baby girl.

Jenny – I had a full year with getting used to caring for two little ones and learning to fight for joy in the Lord. We lost our third baby in September and it’s been difficult to work through. I’m thankful for how God has been immensely gracious with me, though. Questions linger, but I’m learning to trust his sovereignty, purposes, and find comfort in truth. Part of the redemption in this is that I have much more compassion for others’ hurts and have renewed hope in the resurrection of Christ.

Timothy had a big year of growing, playing, and learning. He loves music, water, books, vehicles, balls and so many foods. He dotes on his baby sister and loves doing things together with Grace. Some of his favorite songs are hymns and he belts them loudly. Taking after Andrew, he’s a bit of a clown as he often tries to make people laugh. His Cantonese and English both surprise and crack us up often, too. Timothy’s self-proclaimed favorite color is blue and he enjoys being around lots of people, but especially our family.

Grace has been an immense blessing to us and we so enjoy seeing glimpses of her personality distinctions come out as she grows and explores. She is very sweet and social so far, and overall a mellow little girl. Though small, she is strong and can hold her own among the bigger kids. We find her often plunking on the baby piano by herself, or playing quietly with books and toys. Grace enjoys her BSF class and has taken to new foods well so far. She is affectionate towards our family and has special smiles and giggles for her Papa and brother.

As we move forward, we are thankful for opportunities to grow in faith, regularly open our home to invest in others, contribute to building a church plant, and continue to shepherd our children. May you find hope in 2015 as well.

A Grateful November

Soups are often simmering in our home to beat the cold and we’re bundled in sweaters and sweatshirts on most days. The children are typically wearing 3 layers of clothing already, and I wonder again how I used to be able to survive the icy east coast winters with snow! We’ve had streaks of nice sunny days which, though quite frigid, were otherwise great in November. Timothy got to experience a number of firsts this month including ice skating, fresh popcorn, his own cup of hot chocolate, and a TV show (Hammy Hamster) and enjoyed them all.

Grace gets so many brother kissesWith much more neccessary supervision these days, Timothy and Grace are playing together more. It is just too cute sometimes to hear Timothy sing and read to his sister when I’m out of the room. The big smiles and giggles Grace has for her brother are some of best things I get to witness each week.

Grace is pulling herself up to stand often, is a pro at navigating single steps now so she can freely moves around our first floor. She also does some push-up looking exercise moves while busily exploring things we try to keep out of her reach and is becoming quite adept at standing. She’s still our calm and happy little girl, but has definitely had more feisty moments recently. She also has a penchant for garbage cans so we need to keep a close eye on her in our upstairs rooms.

Such a musical hamTimothy’s singing has improved and fills the house everyday with hymns and children’s songs. I was actually concerned he may be tone-deaf when he started singing a lot several months ago, but his latest improvements have dispelled that thought. I guess it just takes some time for little ones to find the notes. 🙂 He knows most of the letters of the alphabet now and is been starting to count more consistently in both languages. As with earlier this year, Timothy continues to call out sister’s latest milestones with surprise  – “Baby is awake!”, “Baby is moving!”, “Sister is crawling”, “Sister is standing!”. It’s been cute to watch him notice her development.

We hope you’re enjoying this Advent season!

Autumn blessings

Funny guyWe, especially Timothy, enjoyed the last edible apples from our apple tree this year, and we’re appreciating the local winter squash harvest with soups, roasted seeds, and baked goods. I also had a lots of great sister time this month with our visitors. 🙂 The kids and I are mostly indoors now because of the rain and cold. We went to a nearby pumpkin patch on a wet day to learn about pumpkins, visit animals, pick a pumpkin and go on a tractor-powered hay ride. Timothy enjoyed the farm while Grace napped and observed quietly. 😉

We had Timothy convert to a toddler bed and he graduated soon after to a twin bed with a toddler rail this month. Andrew and I were suprised he adjusted so well to the new sleeping arrangements in quick succession. Perhaps he was just ready to be out of the crib and use a pillow and comfy blanket, just like Papa and Mama. We’re pleased to see him snuggle into his bed everyday and relish the new setup. Timothy’s been building pillow nests in the family room for himself and Grace to play in; it’s one of the cutest things they do together. He’s also become quite the imaginative builder with some of Andrew’s help as he creates lots of fun buildings and objects out of Duplo blocks.

We love this toothless smileGrace continues to be resilient and playful with Timothy. I think her enthusiatic laughter has convinced Timothy that he’s quite hilarious. She’s learning the layout of our house and how to navigate small obstacles as she practices crawling. Her first consistent word has been “Papa”, and it’s so precious to hear her say when spending time with Andrew in the evenings. We love hearing her sweet little voice babbling more often lately. Grace has discovered her vocal chords for expressing louder and stronger opinions now, reminding us of her presence. Gone are the days of sometimes forgetting she was in the room because she’d lay, sit, crawl and play so quietly. She is progressing along nicely with solids and may need to learn to eat her food more quickly because Brother waits eagerly to eat up her leftover fruit purees and baby cereal puff snacks.

We said goodbye to Stewie rabbit this month, which was a bit of a downer for all of us. It looked like it was time since he was already over 10 years old, a pretty good run for a Mini Rex. While sad, we are thankful for the decade Andrew had with him, the fluffy entertainment he provided to many, and how much Timothy enjoyed him. We’re bit disappointed Grace didn’t get to enjoy him since Stewie was such a good sport with little ones, but are thankful we have plenty of photos with which to remember him. Timothy seems to miss him sometimes, but he seemed to accept/understand his death well enough (for a toddler, anyway) and moved on quickly after waving goodbye.

I enjoy the rhythm of our fall weeks with Cantonese Storytime, community group, women’s study group, and BSF. I’m learning much about studying the Bible carefully and trusting the Lord to displace my fears and anxieties. This has been especially timely as we try to move forward after losing our third baby in September, and figure out where he wants us as we seek to be faithful to him with where we make our church home.